{"id":98,"date":"2017-03-22T13:29:15","date_gmt":"2017-03-22T21:29:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/successfulretirementplanning.com\/?page_id=98"},"modified":"2018-02-12T17:08:23","modified_gmt":"2018-02-13T01:08:23","slug":"leaving-a-legacy","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/successfulretirementplanning.com\/index.php\/blog-topics\/leaving-a-legacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Leaving a legacy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

Leaving a Legacy<\/strong><\/p>\n

Last summer, a long-time friend of mine was pondering the concept of leaving a legacy<\/strong>.\u00a0 He said that since his retirement a few months earlier, he had been thinking a lot about what will be left of him when he is no longer here.<\/p>\n

He surprised me by talking like that, since he is in good health and probably has 20 years or more on this earth.\u00a0 But I realized he is wise to be thinking that way. \u00a0He has quality time right now to evaluate the legacy he has established so far, and to build up that legacy even further into what he really wants it to be when he passes on.<\/p>\n

What is a legacy?<\/strong><\/p>\n

For those of you who are vague about what a legacy is, definitions vary, but I like this one:\u00a0 A legacy<\/strong> is \u201canything<\/em> that remains from someone who has passed from this life.\u201d<\/p>\n

We all leave a legacy.\u00a0 Whether we think a lot about it or we never give it a single thought, we all leave something of ourselves in the minds, hearts, and\/or pockets of those we have encountered.<\/p>\n

I say pockets, because that is what most people think of when they hear the word legacy.\u00a0 They consider a legacy to be an amount of money or the personal possessions that is left to family members or others, shortly after the giver dies.<\/p>\n

But a legacy isn\u2019t always a financial one, and a legacy doesn\u2019t begin at the reading of a will.\u00a0 In fact, you<\/em> have already \"\"begun to leave a legacy, financial or otherwise.\u00a0 Your legacy so far most likely has to do with how you treat people, the lessons you have taught others, and the experiences you have shared with others along the way.<\/p>\n

Legacies can be good or bad, by the way.\u00a0 Hitler\u2019s legacy, established during his life and continuing long after his death, persists even today as one of hatred, bigotry, and evil.\u00a0 Mother Teresa, on the other hand, has left a legacy of self-sacrifice, service to the poor, and honoring God through her life\u2019s work.\u00a0 Neither of these legacies was financial in nature, per se, but both legacies were strong, powerful, and have had effects on others that have lasted well beyond their own years.<\/p>\n

3 Types of Legacy<\/strong><\/p>\n

After discussing with many retirees the idea of leaving a legacy, there emerged a pattern of basically 3 types of legacies one can leave:\u00a0 pecuniary, community, and inner circle.\u00a0 These categories have lines between them that can get a bit blurred, but they have served me well in discussions, so I thought I would put them out here.<\/p>\n

Pecuniary legacy<\/strong><\/p>\n

A pecuniary legacy<\/strong> is the monetary type that is based on leaving money or property behind for loved ones, or for\"\" organizations such as schools and charities.\u00a0 Many people designate in their will where they want certain moneys or possessions to go upon their death.\u00a0 The people who receive the money or possessions are the beneficiaries.<\/p>\n

In its most basic form, a pecuniary legacy might look like this:\u00a0 Aunt Sue designates in her will that she wants her nephew to receive her 1972 Mustang, and her niece to receive the balance of her savings account plus the heirloom jewelry she has stashed in her dresser in the second drawer on the right. \u00a0Pretty straightforward.<\/p>\n

But besides a basic will, there are other ways to leave a pecuniary legacy to others.\u00a0 The consultation of an estate attorney is recommended, as the attorney can best advise you on the nuances and tax implications of wills, trusts, probate, codicils, and bequests.<\/p>\n

Community legacy<\/strong><\/p>\n

A community legacy<\/strong>, as I have decided to call it, is one that is focused on giving back to the community.\u00a0 While it can be in the form of a monetary donation, it often instead takes the form of a donation of time and talents.\u00a0 Offering one\u2019s services to Habitat for Humanity, or teaching youngsters to read at a local elementary school, can have an \"\"effect on others that lasts decades after the person doing the service is gone.<\/p>\n

One member of our \u201cSaturday retirement group\u201d has a father who is a retired dentist.\u00a0 About a year into his retirement, he felt an unsettled gnawing within him, and realized that living this new life based on leisure was proving to be unsatisfactory.\u00a0 Now in his eighties, he has found much satisfaction donating his dental skills and knowledge in an advisory capacity to a local clinic which serves low-income patients.\u00a0 He knows that years after he is gone, his legacy of dentally-improved patients and more knowledgeable young dentists will live on, which must be very satisfying to him, indeed.<\/p>\n

Other possibilities for community legacy-building are donating blood, planting trees, and teaching Sunday school.\u00a0 The idea is to give of ourselves to the community in a way that lives on after we do not.<\/p>\n

Inner circle legacy<\/strong><\/p>\n

Perhaps the most common and potentially most impactful type of legacy is what I call the inner circle<\/strong> legacy<\/strong>. \u00a0Unless you have chosen to live your life in utter isolation, you will<\/em> make a mark on those around you.\u00a0 The impression you leave will shape the memory people have of you, and your influence can also shape the character and integrity \u2013 or lack thereof \u2013 of those people.\u00a0 Make that mark wisely, for it will live on after you are gone!<\/p>\n

The legacy of you that you leave with your family and friends is largely up to you.\u00a0 Some individuals leave a mark that is one of anger, bitterness, and betrayal.\u00a0 Others leave a mark of gentility, kindness, and wisdom.\u00a0 Truthfully, though, most of us leave a memory of ourselves that reflects both, some good and some bad. \u00a0An example of this would be the person who is remembered for being a good provider for their family, but who didn\u2019t take much time to spend with undivided attention to the family.<\/p>\n

Retirement is a great time to consider the inner circle mark we have made so far, and to make changes to improve the legacy we will leave.\u00a0 It is never too late to soften our ways, to dole out apologies (if sincere), and to engage with others using new techniques and thought patterns.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t believe establishing a new legacy is possible?\u00a0\u00a0 Consider the fictional character of Ebenezer Scrooge created by Charles Dickens.\u00a0 Scrooge\u2019s legacy had been established as one of selfishness, uncaring miserliness, and emotional abusiveness.\u00a0 And yet, very late in life, Scrooge wakes up to this pending legacy and decides to make some changes.\u00a0 He becomes generous, cheerful, and more outwardly-focused.\u00a0 Making corrections to his legacy brought much joy to the people around Ebenezer, and to Ebenezer himself, resulting in a win-win for all.<\/p>\n

Changing one\u2019s legacy is not just the stuff of fiction.\u00a0\u00a0 An acquaintance of mine had spent his lifetime abusing alcohol, betraying his marriage vows now and then, and being generally unreliable.\u00a0 Still thinking he had many years ahead of him, Ted had an epiphany and decided to make some changes to live a more upstanding life.\u00a0 He gave up alcohol, began to treasure his wife more, and became more involved with his children as they moved into young adulthood. Ted died of a heart attack just a few years later, and yet his legacy had become one of metamorphosis, self-improvement, caring support, and gentle humor.\u00a0 He built a new legacy in the nick of time.<\/p>\n

Grandchildren and Legacies<\/strong><\/p>\n

Many people consider becoming a grandparent to be a golden opportunity \u2013 a second chance, of sorts \u2013 to establish a positive legacy.\u00a0 Being older, wiser, and free of the daily pressures of child rearing, grand parenting is indeed a great opportunity to increase and shore up one\u2019s legacy for future generations. \u00a0\u00a0There are several ways to leave a legacy that involve your grandchildren.<\/p>\n

Legacy of money<\/strong><\/p>\n

The first way is to leave a pecuniary legacy, as discussed earlier.\u00a0 Fortunately, the sharing of your money does not have to wait until after you are done and gone.\u00a0 Even before your passing, tax laws allow for you to give certain sums of money to family members without implications.\u00a0 This type of legacy can go a long way in helping future generations, and it is typically a grateful youngster that receives a financial gift of some sort that allows them to go to a favorite summer camp, buy their first car, or reduce their costs in college.<\/p>\n

Note:\u00a0 Do not pass on money if your grandchild has shown significant signs of irresponsibility, lack of integrity, or drug use.\u00a0 You do not want to finance a problem, as this would make your legacy one of enablement instead of one of loving benevolence.<\/p>\n

Legacy of time<\/strong><\/p>\n

Another type of legacy that is very conducive to the grandparent-grandchild relationship is that of time.\u00a0 Time together spent talking, laughing, sharing and enjoying each other is time well-spent, and can have an impact on that child that extends for decades.\u00a0 Those moments together often help shape that child\u2019s sense of self, and assist them in rising to the adult they will one day become.<\/p>\n

Part of the job of being a kid is to figure out himself or herself and where they fit in the world.\u00a0 Kids, especially those \"\"between the ages of 6 and 14, often linger around the adults in their lives.\u00a0 The kids would deny it, no doubt, but they are known to do this in order to absorb knowledge about life, about relationships, and about what is important in this world. \u00a0Time together with a grandchild chatting over a sandwich, iced tea, and cookies has the amazing potential to fill some of a developing child\u2019s deepest needs.<\/p>\n

The legacy of time can reap rich dividends, and because its costs are measured in minutes and not dollars, this type of legacy can be accomplished by any grandparent, regardless of financial means. \u00a0The most important feature of this legacy is that it is based on carving out time with no agenda.\u00a0 This loose structure allows for discussions and activities to grow organically, without the pressure of accomplishing a specific task.<\/p>\n

Legacy of experience<\/strong><\/p>\n

This legacy of experience<\/em> takes the legacy of time <\/em>one step further by integrating a planned, impactful experience into the time spent together.<\/p>\n

When we experience the world, we grow in our understanding of all its beauty and everything it has to offer.\u00a0 We also begin to understand better our own place in this world and our potential contributions to it.\u00a0 To facilitate experiences with a grandchild is to open the windows of the mind and heart to the wonder and roles one has on this earth.<\/p>\n

Visiting a museum featuring children\u2019s art, serving the homeless at a soup kitchen, listening to a classical concert in the park, and dressing up to go eat unusual ethnic foods all make for positive, character- and esteem-building memories.<\/p>\n

Note:\u00a0 Please, take cues from your grandchildren when planning experiences.\u00a0 If you are able to to connect over things they are interested in, you will increase the value of the experience and decrease the likelihood that they will disengage prematurely from having a relationship with their grandparents.\u00a0 If they do disengage, relax, don\u2019t consider it as a failure, and wait patiently for their likely return.<\/p>\n

Legacy of knowledge<\/strong><\/p>\n

The last type of legacy I will mention here is the legacy of knowledge<\/em>.\u00a0 If you have any special skills or particular knowledge — and I\u2019ll bet you do — I encourage you to share them with younger generations.\u00a0 This is a great way to bond with youngsters, pass on valuable knowledge, and further build a legacy that will outlive you.<\/p>\n

Perhaps you have a skill in woodworking or baking that a grandchild has shown an interest in.\u00a0 Teach him (or her)!\u00a0 If you are a born storyteller, tell your stories and encourage the young ones to begin to tell theirs!<\/p>\n

\"\"The learned skill you teach will do one of several things.\u00a0 First, it will build up the child\u2019s self-esteem and confidence since we all find a healthy self-pride in growing a little smarter and acquiring expertise.\u00a0 Secondly, that skill may eventually become a satisfying hobby or source of work, supplying the older child with means to accomplish other ends.\u00a0 Thirdly, teaching that skill will provide the setting to talk about other notable subjects, such as values, integrity, and faith.<\/p>\n

A word of caution I would have is to pay attention to the opportunities that come with teaching and instructing young minds.\u00a0 My friend Ali told me that her grandmother was an accomplished seamstress who took time to sew several beautiful dresses for her during her childhood.\u00a0 It was a kind and loving act, but this grandmother never took the time to teach Ali to sew, and the time they spent together in the making of the dresses was actually quite minimal.<\/p>\n

Though Ali loved and appreciated the beautiful dresses, she had mostly wanted to spend time with her grandmother, to hear her stories, and to learn to sew so she herself could make beautiful dresses for her own daughters someday.\u00a0 It was a legacy opportunity lost. \u00a0I encourage all to take the time to teach and instruct lovingly, instead of just doing on your own for a child.<\/p>\n

Legacy when the grandchildren live far away<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you do not live near your grandchildren, or your grandchildren don\u2019t currently have the time or interest to make time for you (which is a normal phase grandchildren go through), there are several other approaches you can still take to build a legacy for them:<\/p>\n